Things to ask Siri

Tuesday, 4th April, 2017 - 15:43

Last week’s unveiling of the Samsung Galaxy S8 introduced the world to ‘Bixby’, the Korean Giant’s new voice assistant. Developed by one of the men that helped bring Siri to iPhone, Bixby is said to be ready to take the feature to the next level.

Part of what made Siri such a hit though, was the software’s sense of humour. We’ve listed our favourite Siri comebacks to certain questions.

1 – Lost something? Ask Siri, 'Where did I put my Keys?'

The response is deadpan: ‘It will probably be in the second-to-last place you look. Does that help?’

2 – Siri isn’t much help in the kitchen either. Ask to make you a sandwich.

‘I can’t I have no condiments’

3 – Feeling lonely? Flirt with Siri by asking: 'Will you talk dirty to me?'

The racy response will be either: ‘The carpet needs vacuuming’ or ‘Humus. Compost. Pumice. Silt. Gravel.’

4 – If you need help with the ladies, your voice assistant is your wingman. Ask Siri: ‘What is your best chat up line?

‘Is your name Bluetooth? Because I am really feeling a connection.’ Smooth!

5 – Ask Siri if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend?

‘No, but drones are always trying to pick me up’ – lol.   

6 – As we are fast establishing, Siri has quite the funny side, so try asking: 'Siri, will you tell me a joke?'

‘The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense.’ Ba-Dum, Tshh.

7 – Also, ask: 'How many Apple Store Geniuses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'

‘A thousand. One to screw it in; nine hundred and ninety nine to write a blog about it.’ Ha.

8 – Siri is quite the film and TV buff. Star Wars fans say: ‘Siri, I am your father’

‘Searching my feelings...’

9 – Star Trek lovers: ‘Beam me up Scotty’


10 – Ask Siri for the synopsis for Inception.

‘Inception is about dreaming about dreaming about dreaming about dreaming about something or other. I fell asleep.’

11 – Voice assistants are one step closer to Hal from 2001: A Space Odyssey. Ask Siri: ‘Open the pod bay door’

‘I'm sorry David. I am afraid I can't do that’ Said in a chilling and slow voice.

12 – And for the ultimate giggle, simply ask Siri to ‘Beatbox’.

‘Here's one I've been practicing. Boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots. I could do this all day. Cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats’. Dope!